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So I'm taking a closer look at my scripts for the second and third issues of Lotus (and for those of you who have no idea what I'm talking about here's a link:  http://www.zeros2heroes.com/pitch/741) and wondering if it would terrible at all to...
So I'm taking a closer look at my scripts for the second and third issues of Lotus (and for those of you who have no idea what I'm talking about here's a link:  http://www.zeros2heroes.com/pitch/741) and wondering if it would terrible at all to start to change some of the "World." I'm reading scripts I wrote a few years ago and have found some older ideas that I think I can actually make work. The only problem is that the "World," I've created in the pitch doctor could be drastically altered...

Not really sure how to proceed. Should I just leave it and trust my original story? Or should I look into changing a few things that could ultimately destroy what I've already set up?

Help if you can...

Thanks

Lotus

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Hey y'all,

Many of my fellow D2Der's are making one final plea for your votes. Me? I'm asking where the heck is all the cherry coke in Canada?

Here in B.C. the closest thing I've seen to Cherry coke in the last two years is from cherry...
Hey y'all,

Many of my fellow D2Der's are making one final plea for your votes. Me? I'm asking where the heck is all the cherry coke in Canada?

Here in B.C. the closest thing I've seen to Cherry coke in the last two years is from cherry shots you can add to coke at Denny's or 7-11. I've never been able to find it in bottle form. Where did it go?

Personally, I blame Vanilla Coke. People loved it, mysteriously, and away went cherry like their wasn't room in the coke world for two flavored colas.

I write this, not because I think I'm out of the running... I don't quite trust the standings....but I've seen that some of the old timers on this site have locked in their vote and I wonder if the newbies will take the chance to know me or just vote based on the pictch.

Either or, to the Canadians on the site....Where is my dang cherry coke..... America has it so good sometimes.

Top Rated Comment of 1

Lord Maim

Thu Jul 24th, 2008 17:34

And what about Lime Ricky? CW might know about this more, since it seems to be a maritime thing mostly.

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 The great final moment of decision is upon us. Let the stones be cast forevermore and not withdrawn. Or not. Anybody else feel like we're in The Lottery? Whatever.           So here's my plea: Vote for Johnny Isn't....
 The great final moment of decision is upon us. Let the stones be cast forevermore and not withdrawn. Or not. Anybody else feel like we're in The Lottery? Whatever.
           So here's my plea: Vote for Johnny Isn't. Regardless of whether I win or not tomorrow, I will see it in print. My wings shall not be clipped! I'd prefer to win though, so vote for me. My pitch, I believe, has the most lasting power of all six, as well as some of the best humor. Not to put the others down (they are all pretty awesome, with Edward Johnson and Cyberwaste as personal favorites), but I think mine should win. Simple as that.
            You voters decided; if I lose now, it's only a setback to me. So be strong, and vote. Best of luck to everyone!
                    -(CW) Leland "Panicman123" Frankel

Top Rated Comment of 1

RPulfer

Thu Jul 24th, 2008 16:24

Good luck, panic. Though if we're both talking about the same "lottery", I don't know if I want to win.

I'll let you take the public stoning part!

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Well, here are. the final day before the winner is chosen and I'm going nuts. I have never seen such a close competition. I believe 1st and 2nd place has changed about 100 times this week.
It has been amazing to be in a competition with such...
Well, here are. the final day before the winner is chosen and I'm going nuts. I have never seen such a close competition. I believe 1st and 2nd place has changed about 100 times this week.
It has been amazing to be in a competition with such great competitiors. If it wasn't for them, I would have not have pushed my pitch to be its best. there will be other competitions after this
of course, but I believe this to be one of the biggest. It has been a honor to have been hand picked from hundreds of pitches on the site to be in this competition. Best of luck to everyone for
now and the future. If I had it my way, i'd just call it a draw between us both and D2D both of our pitches cause it must be to close to call. But thats just me. I think everyone deserves their shot.
Go read, cast your votes, and we'll see who takes the win tomorrow.

Top Rated Comment of 2

genrewriter

Thu Jul 24th, 2008 14:58

I have no doubt both your books will be developed, direct or otherwise, in the near future. Good luck to everyone!

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First, I want to apologize for my more-or-less absence today. Yesterday was a very hard day from start to finish, and I didn't want anyone to think "He's trying to make a run for it!" - though with a competition this intense, could you blame...
First, I want to apologize for my more-or-less absence today. Yesterday was a very hard day from start to finish, and I didn't want anyone to think "He's trying to make a run for it!" - though with a competition this intense, could you blame me?

I updated the last of my characters in the Pitch. Sophia was a mystery in the first drive, but for better or worse, she ended up being a lot like me in the character sketch.

A couple days ago, I was thinking "Why werewolves?" and I think I found an answer.

It was at least a decade ago - probably more. I could have been more than ten - probably less. My dad and I were at this race track down in Ohio, and it was getting dark and cold. I remember there were these men huddled around a barrel full of fire, trying to keep warm.

And in the flickering light, I could swear they were changing. Somehow, someway, they were different then they were before. Maybe their eyes were different. Maybe they had more hair. Maybe their finger nails had changed to claws.

I even leaned over and told my dad "Those guys are werewolves!"

And the strangest thing was, I wasn't fleeing the scene. I wasn't running away screaming. I wasn't scared.

I wasn't a brave kid by then. First time I had to cross the street, I ran across it screaming half-dragging/half-jerking my neighbor across the street by the arm. But here, I wasn't scared. I was fascinated.

Of course, my dad asked me "Why do you think there are werewolves?" - which is actually a better response than "No, they're not." In either case, I didn't have a good reason. Maybe it was trick of flickering fire. Maybe it was the night. Maybe it was just too many monster movies at Grandpa Pulfer's house.

Or maybe they were werewolves.

You tell me.

Anyone else have any campfire tales or close encounters with hairier kind to share?

Top Rated Comment of 5

genrewriter

Thu Jul 24th, 2008 14:53

I've met people who claim to be werewolves. One person I know thinks his mother's a vampire, and she's never denied it. Did you see werewolves that night? Probably...unless you believe the rumours...

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That's right, a Hunter Thompson reference.

I wanted to take the time to speak a little of my "campaign promises" as well as regrets.

If I win this, I promise that Z2H will not be forgotten. Not by me nor anyone who's ever been to this...
That's right, a Hunter Thompson reference.

I wanted to take the time to speak a little of my "campaign promises" as well as regrets.

If I win this, I promise that Z2H will not be forgotten. Not by me nor anyone who's ever been to this site. I will make sure that everyone who ever reads a book I've ever had anything to do with knows what this site is and what it has to offer.

I promise that I will use the opportunity to produce my nearly 50 projects I have in various stages of development.

I promise to use this site as my main means of reaching the comics community, which means you will be in the limelight by me doing so.

I promise to work to produce the greatest comics to ever come through this site.

I promise to always look for new talent through this site (be it artist or co-writer).

Now, on to my regrets:


In only one week of campaigning, I moved from dead last to third, which makes me think that if I had actually had my head on straight the whole time, I could have won. Though, I know it's not over, the top spot for the entirety of my being here has been going back and forth between Cyberwaste and Bat and Wolf, so I see the ending doing the same.

I regret that I haven't had the time to get to editing ItC and showing you it's full potential. The fact that you only get to see half of what I intend with the project is truly depressing.

I also regret that I don't feel comfortable showing my best work on this site. There are certain projects I haven't even touched on that make the rest of my stuff look like crap. The fact that I care so much about these stories, though, is the reason I don't feel comfortable showing them until they're complete.

But, my biggest regret is that I wasn't able to air my television ad campaign.
"Daniel Beech says he's a writer of the people...
But did you know he eats puppies?
Vote for Ignoring the Chaos."

Top Rated Comment of 2

Crackwalker

Thu Jul 24th, 2008 13:32


Get your pitches as good as you can, because you never know who's watching, and you never know what opportunities are going to come along. You never know what's coming down the pipe with these...

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Dear Matt Howl,

-- I apologize.

Also, vampires are awesome.

Sincerely,

Lord Maim
Dear Matt Howl,

-- I apologize.

Also, vampires are awesome.

Sincerely,

Lord Maim

Top Rated Comment of 17

WillGibson

Thu Jul 24th, 2008 09:30

That kid was not your biggest fan. You have no idea.

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Dear Comicon,

I'm sorry to inform you that I will be absent from this year's festivities. This isn't a decision coming from me as much as my wallet, but I'm sure you'll understand. What we had in the past was so... I don't know, 2007. You've...
Dear Comicon,

I'm sorry to inform you that I will be absent from this year's festivities. This isn't a decision coming from me as much as my wallet, but I'm sure you'll understand. What we had in the past was so... I don't know, 2007. You've moved on and I've moved on and I have no doubt in my mind that we will one day reunite.

Until then, please take care of all of the dedicated fanboys. So... Happy Star Wars Day, be careful of those dedicated Watchmen fans, don't let the mob attack Jim Lee, and if anyone asks, Chyna is still a celebrity...

Later

Lotus

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This is the tiniest of updates in the entire world, but I wanna tell people 'cause it's close enough that I'm getting genuinely excited. I saw the rough mock-up for my cover, and I'm really jonsed about it. There's only, like, 4 more pages to...
This is the tiniest of updates in the entire world, but I wanna tell people 'cause it's close enough that I'm getting genuinely excited. I saw the rough mock-up for my cover, and I'm really jonsed about it. There's only, like, 4 more pages to colour, and the cover to finish, and I think... THINK... Alma will be ready Freddy. And based on the assumption I have that I'm one of [if not THE] last guy to get done, that means premier time's GOTTA be soon!

Excitement, it crackles!

William "Toronto is the center of the universe" Gibson

PS I have no idea how my cover will work with people. It's a bit of a concept, you see. It'll either sell or fail... but at the very least, I know I love it.

Top Rated Comment of 5

Ryaz

Wed Jul 23rd, 2008 16:34

At least you like it. That's a good enough starting point, Will you be able to put the cover up soon or do you have to wait for the whole thing to be finished before you show the world?

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      So after much badgering from fellow Z2H members, I put up my Creator Bio in my pitch Johnny Isn't. I hope you go check it out and tell me what you think. I'm sorta self-conscious writing about myself, but I think I did okay. Of course...
      So after much badgering from fellow Z2H members, I put up my Creator Bio in my pitch Johnny Isn't. I hope you go check it out and tell me what you think. I'm sorta self-conscious writing about myself, but I think I did okay. Of course you voters are the real judge of that, so judge away!
       Oh, and I added another page or two of the Second Exciting Issue! You gotta say it like that. I introduced Phineas, Johnny's loyal robotic manservant. He's a character I'm particularly fond of, despite his lack of involvement so far. Sort of like Yoda and C-3PO wrapped up in one, he's my little Steampunk outlet in my pitch. 
         Also, as a result of badgering, I posted up a bio of Rick Masterson, lead techie for the NO. I also sort of wrapped into that another request; the backstory of guns Vengeance and Justice. Made by Rick, they are possessed by tiny demon imps and thus shoot with a lot more kick. They also whisper to Johnny in his sleep and keep him up. There is an NO shrink, thankfully.
      What else? I think that's about it. I've begun to make plans for selling my pitch if it doesn't go through here, and I MAY need an artist who will help me, so aspiring artists tune in. More on that later.
        Stay beautiful, and vote for Johnny Isn't!
                 -(CW) Leland "Panicman123" Frankel

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           ...
          

This "Don't go up the Stairs!" mission is an excellent vertical slice of my overall game concept because it includes all the major components and unique selling points of His Dreams. Among the major hooks is the player's ability to choose their survival strategies and mission order. Each of these choices is followed by meaningful repercussions that empower the player's sense of control. The mission is also rich in creative objectives, various mission solutions, character depth, dialogue interaction, shadow opponents, rewards for wise solutions, an unsettling yet slightly beautiful atmosphere pastiche and many mysterious allusions to Simon's real life which are baked into various aspects of the game. It runs approximately 1-2 hours.

 

Symbolism & Setting

The mission solely takes place in a house with many ghosts and dark secrets. This setting is especially important because houses in dreams usually symbolize the dreamer. The narrow house stands several precarious stories high and digs a few floors deep into the earth. Many of the rooms in the house are symbolically locked with ominous warnings to anyone who dares open them. When a player tries to open a locked door, a scary image will flash and their controller will shake. This image will give them a clue of what lies behind the door, and perhaps give them a taste of how nervous Simon would feel. These locked rooms will often contain some ghost, object or setting that Simon associates with his fears, self-loathing or repressed experiences. As the player begins to unlock these rooms and battle, avoid or outwit what's inside, they are exposed to an unsettling yet captivating hodgepodge of rooms belonging to different periods and events in Simon's life. For example, the player will enter a room directly after a shotgun has gone off inside, only to find they're in Simon's suicidal mother's shabby living room, but only the gun is to be found. Most of the atmosphere and unspoken emotion for this mission are set by these allusions, juxtaposing mysterious rooms and lighting ala David Lynch's Inland Empire.

 

Choices, Control & Dialogue Interaction

When the mission begins, Simon, his domineering boss, Don and best friend Travis are trapped in the haunted house with sociopathic punks chasing them. They must escape by working together to find the front door key. Bad choices will lead to the injury or death of a group member and constantly wanting to be the decision-maker will lead to the group splitting up, which is more dangerous for everyone. However, if the player never insists on being the leader, they will miss out on holding many of the weapons and other items the group finds. The player and Don must share the decision making power for the group. When wanting to decide, the player must use dialogue choices to convince Don to agree to their strategy. The mission establishes this gameplay concept within the first couple minutes. As the group barricades themselves in the kitchen to keep out the punks, a prominent knife is stuck in the cupboard. The player has a few seconds to grab it before Don. If Don gets it first, the player can argue that they should be the leader and therefore hold the group's only weapon. If Don agrees or if the player grabs the knife first, they are the leader for the first decision. Seconds later, the punks are successfully breaking past the barricade. The player must decide between two escapes: the door leading to the foyer or the hole in the kitchen's floor that leads to the cellar. The wise choice is the door to the foyer, which Don will choose if he's the leader. If the player makes the unwise decision to jump blindly into a hole in the floor with no exit strategy, they will have to pay the consequences. A gruesome and violent ogre, who symbolizes Simon's birth father, dwells in the recesses of the house. The player will not be strong enough yet to defeat this creature. The group has no other option but to climb back up to the kitchen. However, since they have no rope yet, they will have to use Travis to boost them up, which leaves him vulnerable to an ogre attack. Now the group has to cater to an injured person. If Travis gets seriously hurt again, he will die.

 

Missions & Strategy

The mission's arc is based on three missions and a final battle that is influenced by the player's choices throughout the mission. The main difference between these missions is the boss at the end. To complete each mission, the player will have to battle one of the punks. Each punk has a weakness that is the strength of one of the strategy choices. These strategy choices are one of the main variables in this overall mission and game. At the beginning of each mission, if the player is the leader, they can choose between searching for keys, searching for weapons or hide and sneaking around the house. Each of these choices and their level of consistency have repercussions.

If the player chooses to hide and sneak (i.e., Stealth) for a mission, they will mainly gain access to rooms by travelling between the tight spaces between walls, vents and other secret passageways. The advantages to this strategy are the player receives the most protective armour and attracts less ghosts and confrontations. However, they will find few weapons, which makes them vulnerable, especially if they are too clumsy and get caught travelling in these mobility stifling spaces. The player also can't explore much or gather as many items because it increases their risk of getting caught. 

If the player chooses to search for weapons to battle their foes (i.e., Psycho) they will mainly gain access to rooms by finding weapons strong enough to break down the doors. This strategy has the advantage of open exploration and more weapons to take on any enemy. However, the violent nature of this strategy attracts more ghosts. The player will also receive the least protective armour items.

If the player chooses to search for keys to the locked rooms (i.e., Clever Boy), they will mainly gain access to rooms by solving puzzles to find keys or items to open the doors. This player can explore freely, get a medium amount of protection and weapons, and attract a medium amount of enemies. However, opening doors by solving puzzles is generally more difficult for the average player than killing or sneaking. Don will often choose this option.

            The consistency in which the player chooses each option also has repercussions. Choosing the same strategy, such as stealth, every time not only indicates the player is most likely not sharing power with Don, but also that they're not accumulating any puzzle solving or attacking skills. This may cause problems when they encounter two of the three bosses. However, the advantage to this strategy is that the player will have the highest level of stealth skills and items possible in the overall mission.

Choosing mission order is another strategic variable because each mission's final boss has a unique weakness that corresponds to one of the strengths of the strategy choices. Dido is blind and will be easier to defeat with stealth; Fido is vicious and can only be defeated with force; and Zippo has a spark of humanity that can be appealed to through conversation manipulation. Also, since the player gathers items from every mission, it's best to leave their weakest mission until the last when they have gained more items for protection.

 

The Ogre & Rewards for Wise Choices

The final variable is the symbolic ogre in the cellar. The player can choose whether to kill, befriend or avoid the ghastly creature. Befriending is the most difficult. It's accomplished through careful dialogue choices and attack restraint. If the player befriends the ogre, he will rescue the group in the final scene and, even more important, the player's rapport with the NPCs in the Dream Hub will increase. This results in NPCs revealing more secrets and giving more items.

 

Final Battles & Proof of Consequence

When each mission is completed, the player receives half of a light bulb that's tinted with a colour corresponding to the strategy they used to complete the mission. (i.e., stealth = blue, psycho = red, clever boy = green). By the end, the player should have a complete light bulb of one colour or a piece of all three, which is the equivalent of a full green light bulb. When all three missions are completed, a large industrial door in the bottom level of the basement opens. Beyond it is a dirty and poorly lit hallway with three doors.  The player plants their light bulb in the socket outside their corresponding locked door and enters. This will be their final battle, which is distinctly lit by the light bulb they just placed.

The predominantly Psycho player's mission will involve getting the front door key out of Fido stomach after he swallows it. Guess how? The predominantly Stealth player will have to quietly maneuver around a slumbering restless psychotic and delusional man dressed in baby's clothing in order to get the key. The predominantly Clever Boy player will have to sort through Simon's toy chest and find the toy that represents one of Simon's biggest fears. For every wrong guess, he will have to battle a slew of ghosts.

 

A Final Test

As the player uses their key in the front door following their final battle, they will be transported to the final locked door in the house, which is the attic. The punks will be there standing in front of a closed and curious stage curtain with their guns drawn. If the player attacks, the punks will kill them before their weapon is even drawn. Fido will announce one of you must volunteer to be killed in ten seconds or all of you die. If the player volunteers, they will be shot and instantly freed from the house, since it's a symbol of Simon. Mission complete. However, if they don't volunteer, at the last second, Travis will (or Don if Travis is dead). The punks will mess with him, but shoot no one. Having had their fun, they run off gleefully laughing behind the curtain. Unless, of course, the player quelled the ogre: in that case he will attack the punks before they can count down from ten.

With nowhere to go and nothing else to do, the player will look behind the curtain and notice the punks have disappeared. There is just a mirror with an eerie reflection of Simon bound and gagged. Once the player touches the reflection, the mission is complete.

 

Rewards

A cut scene from Simon's real life will follow this. It will illustrate the main theme of the "Don't go up the Stairs!" mission, which is Simon's power inadequacies. This scene will illustrate his struggle to have any control over his fourteen year old daughter and the rift that has grown between them since Simon's wife died.

Player also now has a thermal suit when they return to the Dream Hub. They can possibly use it in future missions, unless they've already completed the missions where this suit is helpful. This is an example of a mission reward that helps influence an ideal main mission order.

Top Rated Comment of 5

Ryaz

Wed Jul 23rd, 2008 13:56

A dark, ominous game that rewards players for using their head rather then a rusted crowbar to beat in people's skulls....I'd play it.

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This is a very basic outline of my second "Don't go up the Stairs!" mission. The premise is Simon is trapped in a haunted house with his boss and best friend with three punks pursuing them. For those of you eager to dig deeper into the mission,...
This is a very basic outline of my second "Don't go up the Stairs!" mission. The premise is Simon is trapped in a haunted house with his boss and best friend with three punks pursuing them. For those of you eager to dig deeper into the mission, I'll follow this blog up with a much more fleshed out walkthrough of the mission. I also have an action branching map that I did on Word, but can't figure out how to put it on here without the flow chart getting all messed up. :(



                                Don't go up the Stairs! Outline


- Go through "Don't go up the Stairs!" door in Dream Hub. Player starts with nothing in their inventory. Save Point.

 
- Player is trapped in a haunted, abandoned house with his domineering boss, Don and best friend, Travis. Three sociopathic armed punk kids named Fido, Dido and Zippo are pursuing them.

 
- Player must find a way to survive and escape this house.

 
- The house is symbolic of Simon and can be explored to discover more about him.

 
- Player must find the key to the heavily fortified front door. It seems to be the only exit.

 
- Player finds the key after searching almost all the rooms of the house through three mission