SCALES
ISSUE ONE: ALL IN A DAY'S WORK
PAGE ONE
*Title and credits.
PANEL ONE
The interior of a hospital. Specifically the maternity ward.
An operating room with a birth in progress. A soon-to-be
father holding his wife's hand. He is smiling and tears have
welled up on his inner eyelids. The soon-to-be-mother is red
from effort and pain. Her face is balled up like a fist. A
blanket covers her bent knees and below so as to hide the
gruesome anatomical reality of birth. Still it is stained
with an obscene amount of blood. A doctor is kneeling, like
a catcher awaiting her new arrival.
Opposite all the action is a large window, out of which a
cityscape can be seen at night. Above the city the stars
twinkle and a meteor lights up the sky. The suspicious thing
about this meteor however, is that it is going in the wrong
direction--tail down, head up.
LIGHTBEARER
(caption box)
As above so below.
PAGE TWO
PANEL ONE
A closer look of the backwards meteor. A man shape can be
seen flying, arms extended forward, of its head.
PANEL TWO
A front view of Lightbearer, flying into the Earth's
atmosphere. Arms extended forward that end in balled fists,
classic Superman. The look on his face is detached. A man
about his business.
LIGHTBEARER
(caption box)
I am The Lightbearer.
PANEL THREE
Same angle, but Lightbearer has sped closer to us. We now
have a blurred view of his torso and legs. The Kingmaker
stone in his chest shines.
LIGHTBEARER
(caption box)
I protect the Earth.
PANEL FOUR
Same angle, but now just a view of Lightbearer's blurred feet
and the fiery tail behind it.
LIGHTBEARER
(caption box)
From the things that no one else can.
PAGE THREE
PANEL ONE
A quarter view of the planet Earth as seen from space. It
should look very much like an unfertilized human egg. What
really makes the scene parallel to the life process is a
swarm of sperm-like meteors speeding towards, with undulating
fiery tails.
LIGHTBEARER
(caption box)
Point in case...
PANEL TWO
A closer view of one of the meteor/sperm. Smooth, instead of
rocky, and its wiggling fire and smoke tail. Behind it, its
brethren fill the space sky.
LIGHTBEARER
(caption box)
An invasion of quantum genetic material
infected with a particularly nasty breed
of spacially transmitted diseases, intent
on impregnating the Earth.
LIGHTBEARER (CONT'D)
(caption box)
Creating an impossible child of theory
and terra.
PANEL THREE
A full view of the planet from space. Even from this height
we can see massive storms brewing over almost every
continent.
LIGHTBEARER
(caption box)
The Earth cries out. Defenseless.
PANEL FOUR
*Large panel.
Lightbearer has stopped speeding now and is hovering in
space. Two beams of intense heat are issuing from his eyes,
in a down and off panel direction. This is our first full
view of him, and he should seem nothing less than majestic.
LIGHTBEARER
(caption box)
And, as always, I respond.
PAGE FOUR
PANEL ONE
A view of what Lightbearer was using his heat vision on. He
is cutting a large disk out of the moon's surface. It should
be flat and depressed in the centre and have a thick ridge
all around the outside--a cosmic diaphragm.
PANEL TWO
Lightbearer prying the disk from the moon with his hand. It
is about the size of the Skydome. An incredible feat of
strength that he is making look natural and easy.
PANEL THREE
A long distance view of Lightbearer holding the moon disk.
He is tiny in comparison to it. An ant to an orange.
PANEL FOUR
Light bearer throwing the disk in the direction of the Earth.
PANEL FIVE
The disk hurtling through space at an angle that we can see
it is aimed between the Earth and the advancing invasion.
PAGE FIVE
PANEL ONE
Impact! The perfectly timed throw intercepts with the
invasion of the meteor/sperm.
They splat into it like bugs on a windshield. A sticky fiery
mess left behind. A few lucky ones have missed and continue
towards earth.
PANEL TWO
Lightbearer cleaning up the remaining mess, smashing a couple
of close meteor/sperm with his fist and incinerating more of
them with his heat vision.
PANEL THREE
Lightbearer flying back towards the moon with the now clean
disk in his hands. Behind him is the Earth, now safe. No
more signs of invasion. The storms settled and dissipating.
LIGHTBEARER
(caption box)
The Earth sighs in relief.
PANEL FOUR
Lightbearer gently, reverently, placing the disk back on the
moon's surface.
LIGHTBEARER
(caption box)
I thank the Moon for his sacrifice. He
congratulates me on a job well done.
PANEL FIVE
A close-up of Lightbearer's head turning on his neck. His
eyes wide with sudden fear and anticipation.
LIGHTBEARER
(caption box)
When it's brought to my attention that
the Sun is about to commit suicide!
PAGE SIX
PANEL ONE
Lightbearer speeding towards the Sun.
LIGHTBEARER
(caption box)
It's about to collapse in upon itself.
PANEL TWO
Lightbearer from a distance now, is almost at the Sun's
surface. The Sun has great flare activity on its surface.
It should look like boiling soup.
LIGHTBEARER
(caption box)
Supernova!
PANEL THREE
Now inside the first few layers of the Sun's surface, pushing
on through layers, towards the centre.
LIGHTBEARER
(caption box)
It's death will be the death of the
entire solar system. Every life atomized
eight minutes after it goes.
PANEL FOUR
Lightbearer deeper inside the Sun now. The colors around
him, deeper reds and oranges.
LIGHTBEARER
(caption box)
Everyone I love...
PANEL FIVE
Lightbearer has reached the centre of the Sun. Inside the
Sun is just a black sphere. Behind him a small closing hole
of light.
PAGE SEVEN
PANEL ONE
Lightbearer is standing in the absolute dark. The stone in
his chest glowing slightly. He appears to be looking around
for something.
LIGHTBEARER
Sol!
PANEL TWO
Lightbearer looking around with a sense of urgency on his
face.
LIGHTBEARER
You can't be serious about this!
PANEL THREE
Lightbearer turning suddenly as if someone has spoken behind
him.
SUN
(off)
And why not?
PANEL FOUR
The Sun. It looks like an old man with a long beard and a
walking stick, made completely of fire. If he shows any
emotion it should be fatigue.
PAGE EIGHT
PANEL ONE
Lightbearer and the Sun shaking hands. The Sun's fire
crawling up Victor's arm, but he seems unaffected.
SUN
Victor. Been a while.
LIGHTBEARER
Too long.
PANEL TWO
A close up of Lightbearer's concerned face.
LIGHTBEARER
Why are you doing this?
PANEL THREE
A close-up of the Sun's tired old face. His eyes downcast.
SUN
I'm tired Victor.
PANEL FOUR
The Sun making a grand gesture with his arms.
SUN
I'm tired of sharing my warmth and light
with them! They've forgotten about me!
PAGE NINE
PANEL ONE
The Sun looking very fatigued.
SUN
No one cares anymore.
PANEL TWO
A low angle of a busy city street looking up from ground
level at a crowd of people going about their important
business--shopping, swearing, spitting, running, pushing, and
hating. High above them in the sky is the Sun looking down
in judgement.
SUN
(caption box)
For each other or for me.
PANEL THREE
Same angle. The Sun in the same spot, but now partially
eclipsed behind a the falcon head of a large stone statue of
Ra. The modern setting has given way to ancient Egypt. A
crowd of ancient Egyptians grovel before the statue. A
bloody sacrificial lamb laid at its feet.
SUN
(caption box)
The Egyptians knew how to thank me. They
remembered.
PANEL FOUR
Same angle. Back in modern times, the Sun has been replaced
by the Moon. Under the Moon, in a park, a group of teenage
Goths party it up.
SUN
(caption box)
Now they worship my absence.
PANEL FIVE
Back inside the Sun, a mirror of Panel One. The Sun has
worked himself into a frenzy. His fatigue giving way to
anger.
SUN
And hate! They love to hate!
PAGE TEN
PANEL ONE
Reverse the angle, so we are now looking at Lightbearer. He
makes his case with logic. The lawyer in him coming out.
LIGHTBEARER
I used to think like you. I did.
PANEL TWO
Back to the device from the previous page. Ground level
looking up at the Moon in the same spot from the previous
pages. A dark alley in the middle of a violent crime, knives
and blood.
LIGHTBEARER
(caption box)
For every crime committed when you are
not there to illuminate it...
PANEL THREE
Same angle, the Moon replaced by the Sun. A young couple
kiss, tentatively, as if this is there first time.
LIGHTBEARER
(caption box)
...there is a first kiss.
PANEL FOUR
Same angle. A busy downtown metropolis. People rushing to
work dressed in suits. Try to capture that early morning
feeling. Lots of coffee and croissants on the run.
LIGHTBEARER
(caption box)
It's your daylight hours when they get
the work done.
PANEL FIVE
Lightbearer pleading his case. The Sun starts to waver,
looking uncertain.
LIGHTBEARER
You are an integral part of a precisely
timed machine. The greatest accidental
machine ever built!
SUN
Me?
PAGE ELEVEN
PANEL ONE
A close-up of the Sun's fiery aged face.
SUN
Really?
PANEL TWO
Back to previous angle and device. A field of solar panel
convertors. The reflection of the Sun in them is in the same
spot as on the previous pages.
LIGHTBEARER
(caption box)
It's your light that powers their lives.
PANEL THREE
The same angle as Panel One, but now the Sun has de-aged
about twenty years. He looks like a handsome middle-aged
man, with a shorter beard.
SUN
I never thought--
PANEL FOUR
Same angle. A busy beach. People playing, splashing,
swimming, and generally having fun.
LIGHTBEARER
(caption box)
And Summer! Summer when you are most
plentiful is the most celebrated season!
PANEL FIVE
Same angle as Panels One and Three, the Sun is now twenty
years younger again. A young man. No beard.
PAGE TWELEVE
PANEL ONE
Lightbearer making his closing remarks.
LIGHTBEARER
Without you nothing exists. You are the
father of everything. Times have
changed. Certainly. They still worship
you, just in a different way.
PANEL TWO
Closer to Lightbearer. He is making his final remark that
will sum up his whole argument. The most important argument
of his career.
LIGHTBEARER
After all...the solar system revolves
around you!
PANEL THREE
The Sun, now a boy of about ten or twelve.
SUN
Yes! It does!
PANEL FOUR
Lightbearer facing the newly rejuvenated Sun. Looking down
at the small thing it has become.
LIGHTBEARER
Well?
SUN
I'll stay!
PAGE THIRTEEN
PANEL ONE
Lightbearer, with a look of relief.
LIGHTBEARER
(caption box)
I'm about to relax...
PANEL TWO
Lightbearer again perplexed.
LIGHTBEARER
(caption box)
...when the revolutions remind me of the
time. I'm due in court in eight minutes--
PANEL THREE
The Sun tugging at Lightbearer's cape. Lightbearer in a
hurry.
SUN
Tell me more.
LIGHTBEARER
I can't--
PANEL FOUR
Lightbearer speeding towards the Earth. The Sun far behind
him.
LIGHTBEARER
(trailing font)
butIpromisetovisityouagainreallysoon!
PAGE FOURTEEN
PANEL ONE
On Earth. A rooftop high above a busy city. On the rooftop
is a water tower. A hatch in the roof of the water tower is
open. Below the water tower are some pigeon coops and a
large professional telescope pointed towards the sky.
LIGHTBEARER
(caption box)
I can't count how many times my pigeons
and Astronomy have saved my secret
identity.
PANEL TWO
A close-up of the hatch slamming shut as Lightbearer has sped
though it.
SFX
Slam!
LIGHTBEARER
(caption box)
Actually I could tell you exactly how
many times, and the dates of each down to
the millisecond...but using euphemisms
makes me feel more human.
PANEL THREE
The interior of the water tower. There is no water. It is
actually a dressing room, lit by hundreds of candles.
Lightbearer is approaching a dressing table with a large
mirror, old fashioned like women used to use for applying
make-up. On the table a variety of make-up is laid out, and
a dummy head wearing Lightbearer's secret identity's wig and
glasses. Hanging from a rack are a bunch of professional
business suits, all pressed and ready.
PANEL FOUR
Lightbearer sitting at the table applying a thick layer of
make-up into the deep crevices of his scarred face.
PAGE FIFTEEN
PANEL ONE
Billy Rosewater, sticking his head out of a door in the
courthouse. In front of him is a long hallway. There's only
one entrance, at the vary far end. It would take someone
approximately three minutes to walk here from the far end.
BILLY ROSEWATER
He's not going to make it.
PANEL TWO
Robyn Goodchild sitting on a bench outside of the courtroom
doors. Her body language is relaxed and confident as she
goes over the files in her hands. Billy is closing the door
to the hallway and turning to face her.
ROBYN GOODCHILD
He'll be here.
PANEL THREE
Billy's cocksure face, his eyes turning to something
interrupting his speech.
BILLY ROSEWATER
Session begins in two minutes--
VICTOR KEYES
(off)
Hmmmh-hmmm!
PANEL FOUR
A smiling Victor Keyes, standing in the hallway door.
VICTOR KEYES
I can see the first thing we're going to
have to do is teach the new kid never to
bet against me.
PANEL FIVE
Inside the courtroom the trio walk down the centre isle,
towards the plaintiff's bench. Victor in the lead,
emotionless, Robyn smiling and confident, and Billy a little
nervous.
VICTOR KEYES
Let's go to court.
PAGE SIXTEEN
PANEL ONE
A face-on view of Victor standing next to his clients:
Twenny-Fo' Seven. From left to right: Victor, Dr. Funk,
Soul Sista, Swackhammer, Love Train, and Jive. On the table
in front of them are name plaques, and a large plaque
advertising their group's name.
VICTOR KEYES
Your honour, this is an open and shut
case of--
PANEL TWO
A face on view Harold Goblin, the defending lawyer, and his
clients, 3/65. From left to right: Harold, Dr. Bling, Party
Girl, Ballpeen, Love Bug, and Hip Hop. On the table in front
of them are name plaques, and a large plaque advertising
their group's name. The posture and poses of 3/65 should
correspond roughly with their Twenny-Fo' Seven's
counterpart's.
Mark J. Howard
22:27 Tue Sep 25th, 2007
There are a lot of good ideas in this. I like that the sun has its' own personality, and I wonder if the planets, moons, comets and asteroids similarly have personalities. I'm wondering who the Lightbearer is talking to in the first few pages. He seems to be speaking (or thinking) in soundbites, which to me gives his narrative a touch of artificiality. I'd think about making it a journal entry or something, and would try to add a little more depth and personality to the words. (EG, From the journal of Victor Keyes. 'So, this is what it means to be the Lightbearer. Defending worlds against crap nobody's ever heard of and nobody would believe if I stuffed it in a bucket and mailed it to CNN...') A bit pedantic here, but I think that the Moon is usually thought of as female (or is that sexist of me?) I like the idea of a suicidal sun, but this (to me) happens too soon after the alien sperm invasion and for no good reason. A suicidal sun story would require almost an entire episode to itself, a damned good reason to be feeling suicidal and, to be frank, a better argument from the Lightbearer. Another pedantic point here, the sun is a middle-aged star, not an old one, so perhaps the suicidal feelings might be replaced by a kind of mid-life crisis? I love the idea of a superhero owning pigeons! Does he race them, or just breed them? In fact, it might be worth having a panel or two of him lovingly tending his birds; feeding, watering and talking to them instead of just whizzing by them as if they were nothing more than camouflage. A moment of peace after the hectic events he's just experienced? The court case seemed a little rushed. It feels to me like you're trying to get too much in to your script, here. Might it not be a better idea to have the clients first approaching Victor in one episode, the court case in another and the verdict in a third? Give your readers time to assimilate the information instead of shooting it by them all at once? There was no time here for any character development or exposition, although I do like the idea of superheroes suing each other in court over all the petty things normal people do. And then the strip seems to find its' voice with a superhero accused of rape. This was nicely written and the story finally slowed down and left me wondering if Victor actually needs to be such a powerful superhero at all. I find myself wondering whether the story might be more interesting if Victor was a low-level superhero, or a damaged one, who now serves in the only way he can - as a lawyer to superheroes. Kind of like an Ironsides for the spandex brigade. He's such a good lawyer for them because he's been there, seen that, mashed the bad guy. Maybe one of his assistants could be the Lightbringer, Victor knows this but hasn't let on yet? Or the adventures could all be melancholic flashbacks? Anyhoo, those are some of my inane drivvlings on your story. Some very good ideas here, but it needs reining in a bit, I feel. Hope this helps, Best, Mark.