(Continued from ...
Comments
10:00 Fri Sep 26th, 2008
I like the direction this is going in. Good stuff! A couple of notes for you:
1. The German - this is a name you should avoid, mostly because there's a character on Heroes called 'The German' and I think we can do better. Fritz? Hans? Oscar Mayer? I dunno
2. Dago - I think this particular slur is usually directed at italians. For Germans, you'd want 'kraut' - or if Blake is feeling ironic 'Mein Herr' perhaps
3. Crushing the MAC-10 - might not be as depicted. I'm not sure, but I think they may have some plastic parts, at the very least, they are made of thin sheet metal, so crushing it might not be a screee and perhaps it would be more of a snap crackle pop and springs and pins and other gack would fall out with a tink tink
10:18 Fri Sep 26th, 2008
Okay I looked up the MAC-10 - I was wrong. It's a heavy piece of steel. SQUEE is about right.
11:05 Fri Sep 26th, 2008
Solid script Maim.
The only bit that felt out of place for me was Morty's last line on Page 3. From what has been built up with him I just didn't get the impression that this is something he would say. I would imagine myself being quite speechless if I met Blake and he then picked me up and dangled me in the air.
Maybe;
"Whoa!", "Jesus!" or even just "Uuuuh"
11:21 Fri Sep 26th, 2008
Pop-culture references, especially in the heat of an actioney moment, are like a thumb in the eye. Seriously.
Besides, this Blake so-and-so would totally think he's too damn cool to be reading comics, let alone actually make a cavalier off-the-cuff reference to one like that.
11:34 Fri Sep 26th, 2008
I liked the Rorschach thing - I digested it as a post-modern meta-comics moment. Like, 'Hey, you are reading a comic right now, and since you are reading a comic, you will know who Rorschach is.'
11:51 Fri Sep 26th, 2008
Bleh, maybe it's just me, then. That's one of the primary reasons I hated Ultimates.
But then, Postmodernism is dead to me, so take my opinion with a grain of salt.
11:54 Fri Sep 26th, 2008
I like the line, but I don't think it fits Blake. This is the guy who didn't even know where to find a comic store, right? lol
12:40 Fri Sep 26th, 2008
You all forget Maim is Blake ergo if Maim would say it, Blake would say it!
12:47 Fri Sep 26th, 2008
Blake is Maim? LM has uber-healing powers and is trying to kill himself? Nooooo! If he succeeds, there will be no more Blake!!
13:39 Fri Sep 26th, 2008
@CW: He's not actually german. So Dago is accurate and intended, in this case. And its hard picking sound effects for impossible situations, so I just go with what seems to fit onomatopoetically. Thanks for the praise though. Chapter 5 is a much more direct issue for Blake. More action / less angst.
...It also leads into a very interesting story arc involving Sudden Dawn, the Firmament Group, the National Security Branch of the FBI, and the United States Government.
@JB: You know, I thought about that for a long time. I may change it to "Then again..."
@Will: Go back and read the other scripts. I think you'll find Blake's previous conduct has established this precedent. There will never be a situation where Blake will not have the time to crack wise or issue profanity. So sayeth the Blake.
@Q: I don't know much about comics myself. Literally, the Nikki storyline has me learning right along with her. Yet I am a fanatic Watchmen fan. I've got a smattering of other experience. A whole lot of Spider-man going back to the 60s, Spawn, 100 Bullets, I've got Preacher, and Sandman on deck, etc.
My logic is that after his brush with Nikki, he's done some additional research on his own, especially in light of his two weeks of not killing himself over the course of Chapter 4. I think Blake would identify with the rigid code of ethics that Rorschach held himself to, even when his doing so would compromise the "greater good". That kind of flawed idealism is exactly what Blake is about.
@JB & Q: It's not a direct correlation, obviously. There are elements of my own life that filter their way into the story in a fun-house-mirror-distortion type way. Its rather therapeutic actually, even though Blake never really gets a break.
@Anyone who reads Blake's Blog: An easter egg for you. Morty is Blake's "procurement specialist" from D-Day +13.
13:55 Fri Sep 26th, 2008
@Hughsie: There's no specific person. She's a lot of messed up dysfunctional relationships all rolled into one and topped off with pure fiction. Same with Jeff, no specific person.
14:01 Fri Sep 26th, 2008
SQUEE is like a walkie-talkie getting stomped on - or a Mynock getting blasted
14:10 Fri Sep 26th, 2008
 But JB, and the rest of you, I'm interested in alternate Page 3 lines for Morty. I played around with that for an hour, before settling for the ultimately unsatisfying "on the other hand..."
14:14 Fri Sep 26th, 2008
Oh, I'm not saying a quip is inappropriate. It makes perfect sense, really, action movie logic being what it is.
I think I just have a personal aversion to pop-cultural references in stuff where I'm not really expecting them is all. Plus, Blake hadn't struck me as the sort of nerdish guy to actually drop a line like that. But what the crud do I know? Nuthin', that's what.
14:27 Fri Sep 26th, 2008
No, I can see how your reservations have some merit. You're right, he doesn't have a wealth of information to go on, but with his recent studies, in my mind that particular character stood as unique to him and someone he identified with. I'm gambling that my audience is willing to go along with that leap.Â
14:33 Fri Sep 26th, 2008
...plus, Blake isn't an complete neophyte when it comes to comics. He does own a reprint of Action Comics #1 if you recall.
14:54 Fri Sep 26th, 2008
Yeah, I remember your initial comment: "SERIOUSLY - Blake has a copy of Action Comics #1? That's the most fucked up thing I ever heard of."
16:40 Sun Sep 28th, 2008
I saw Rorschach and envisioned the ink blot test, thinking Blake was going to make a bloody smush out of the German's places. I think only comic geeks would see it otherwise, I had to google Rorschach comic to see what you guys were talking about. I use the term comic geeks with all the love in the world.
Page 2- Morty yelling "watch the threads!"
12:37 Mon Oct 20th, 2008
Congrats on the win. I love the comic and reading the blog just cracked me up. I think it would be difficult to get all of the angst and hillarity (odd combination, but it works) across in a feature film. I've been thinking this would make a great HBO series. Then there'd be plenty of time to share all of the great information from these 5 chapters and more as well as the great fun the blog represents. Come on. Who wouldn't love to see some screen time for the bear expiriment?
Keep up the great work.
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hughsie
09:38 Fri Sep 26th, 2008
Fantastic work! You never disappoint ;) I love it!