Here's my One Page Challenge entry. I collaborated with my pal Luke Perks on this - he should be showing up in the Z2H-verse soon. For now, enjoy and let me know what you think.
Pinch
By Richard Pulfer and Luke Perks
Page One
1:1
A henchman stands in a row with several other henchmen, similarly dressed and similarly armed. They are dressed in generic stormtrooper fashion - helmets and goggles covering all but their mouths, and not-too-distant-future body armor covering everything else. They are standing along a ledge firing at a dashing-clad tuxedo-clad super-spy - a James Bond-figure (Connery, not Craig), leaping towards them with a confident smile spread across his face.
Caption (PINCH): Here we go AGAIN...
1:2
The super-spy hits them with the full force of a linebacker. The opposing henchmen are scattered in every direction like bowling pins from the force of the impact. Only Pinch - the introduced henchman, remains in an upright standing position. He is still firing his pistol from a couple feet away. The super-spy doesn't have a scratch on him.
Caption (PINCH): Some call it the CURSE. Others call it STORMTROOPER SYNDOME. And still others just call it BLIND DUMB LUCK.
Caption (PINCH): For whatever reason, we can't hit the broad side of a barn.
Caption (PINCH): Then again, who in their right mind would want to shoot a barn anyway?
1:3
Pinch is the only henchman standing - the rest of them are lying at his feet unconscious. The faces we see of the henchmen on the ground have the cartoonish swirly line to indicate unconsciousness. The super-spy is running away in the opposite direction. Pinch is throwing his left hand up to his goggles in disgust, his gun pointed up as it fires pitifully in the air.
Pinch: This is so HUMILIATING.
1:4
High angle shot from the ceiling looking down at Pinch and the super-spy charging away from him. Pinch's gunfire has blasted off a light fixture from the ceiling, which is now falling down towards the super-spy.
SFX: KA-POW!
SFX: KA-CHING!
1:5
Over-the-shoulder shot from Pinch as he watches the light nails the super-spy right in the head. Pinch's posture should show he is utterly surprised. Put a lot of force and mass behind the light posture as it smashes into the spy's head.
SFX: KA-RAACK!
1:6
The super-spy turns around. He has a nasty expression lining his face. There's an ugly bump on his head, and his eyes are grotesquely swollen. Suffice to say, Pinch just inadvertently ruined his good looks. He looks down the hallway towards Pinch with murder on his mind - and face.
SUPER SPY: My hair!
CAPTION (PINCH): OH SHIT! I didn't mean to do that!
PINCH: OH SHOOT, I didn't mean to do that!
1:7
Dynamic shot of the super spy lunging at Pinch. This shot should be from the heel of the super spy's foot which is pushing off, his entire body taking up much of the panel. Towards the lower left hand corner of the panel we should see Pinch frozen with fear as he attempts to shoot the super spy coming at him. His gun jams however.
SFX: CLICK CLICK CLICK CLICK CLICK CLICK CLICK CLICK CLICK CLICK CLICK
PINCH: AHHHHHHHH!
SUPER SPY: YAAAAH!
1:8
A profile shot as Pinch chucks the pistol squarely at super-spy's forehead in sheer desperation. The gun catches the super-spy right in the brow, and goes off - with a miniature explosion at the barrel's tip showing a bullet trail catching the super-spy in the foot. The super-spy jerks in a fit of shock and pain.
1:9
Same shot as the previous panel but the Spy is now totally out of the panel and Pinch is now looking down scratching his head. A look of bewilderment cast over his face.
CAPTION (PINCH): When you work for the other side, you get a bit used to your luck. I don't think this guy has ever felt pain.
SUPER SPY (OFF PANEL): MY FOOT! YOU SHOT MY FOOT! AHHHH! GAWWD!
SUPER SPY (OFF PANEL) (in small whimpering letters): oooowwweeee...
1:10
A close profile shot of Pinch looming over the super-spy - we should only be able to see the super-spy's head in this panel since he is on the ground cradling his foot in the fetal position. The super-spy's hair is a ruffled, and he should look pale. But unlike what most guys would be like in this situation, Pinch isn't gloating. Instead, he's a consummate professional - very serious, very confident.
PINCH: Let's TALK.
CAPTION: THE END . . . FOR NOW.
Comments
12:56 Thu Jul 2nd, 2009
Thanks a lot, Bryan. It's something I've been thinking about reading Tag and Bink are Dead, and of course that lead me to read the original, Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead.
20:13 Thu Jul 2nd, 2009
That's gold. It does bring to mind John Smith, henchman in Dr Evil's private army.
21:28 Thu Jul 2nd, 2009
Yeah, I was a bit vague on the location, STURSTEIN. I wanted to make it very general "Dr. No", but I think I was a bit too general.
It's part of the One Page Challenge so it can't be a double page spread, at least that I'm aware. My collaborator did accidentally make a second page before he knew of the One Page limit and it definitely flowed better, but I wanted to fit this into the One Page Challenge for now.
04:21 Fri Jul 3rd, 2009
Yeah, I knew it was for the One Page Challenge, I just thought I'd make the point that it'd be a little crammed on a single page. But the fact that it was initially written for two explains a lot. Like I said, you'd just have to cheat by printing it on an oversized page :D
07:27 Fri Jul 3rd, 2009
You're right, STURSTEIN. Funny thing is, I thought this would be easy because I'm use to working in webcomics, where you basically live and die on a single page.
It is definitely crammed - even for me. I usually write close to seven panel pages - but this is ten and it's a lot of action and information, but burns up the panel count.
The bittersweet irony is it reads perfectly well as a two-page story but at one-page, it's pretty crammed. It's like I was soooooo close!
10:57 Fri Jul 3rd, 2009
The concept could be fun - nice to see the faceless, anonymous henchman beat the super spy - but I have to agree that the panel count is huge for a one page.
Over to you, Puff Daddy, to check out my entry, 'Adapt'.
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BryanStatic
11:40 Thu Jul 2nd, 2009
Quite interesting. I too have always been fascinated by the aspect of the nameless grunt minions. There is definitely a lot of territory to explore here. Thumbs up.