As promised, issue #2 of Deutschmaschine, as a sneak preview just for YOU!
Featured in this excerpt:
- A spoiler!
- New characters
- Action!!
Warning: gigantenormous post. If you can read through this, you can leave a comment, surely! Fire away!
DEUTSCHMASCHINE, ISSUE 2
"The Kindness of Hackers"
(Act I)
PAGE 1
A rough grid-like configuration of two tiers of landscape-then-portrait panels, each taking a fourth of the page, give or take.
PANEL 1
One-quarter of page. Landscape panel.
We view the action from the side, top or three-quarters back. DEUTSCHMASCHINE hops back in the air slightly as the truck tries to ride her down. In mid-air, she jams her cybernetic hand in the truck's front grill and clamps herself there.
SOUND FX: CLANG
SOUND FX (HAND SQUEEZING METAL): SHKRIINK
WIRETRIP (RADIO): What are you DOING?
DEUTSCHMASCHINE: SHUT UP! I'm working here.
PANEL 2
One-quarter of page, portrait panel.
View from inside the truck. The DRIVER sees DEUTSCHMASCHINE clinging to the front grill. He swerves hard to the right in an attempt to shake her off. Far in the distance, at right, there are the flames of the car crash from issue 1.
PASSENGER GUARD (OFF-PANEL): Shake her off! That's it!
PANEL 3
One-quarter of page on second tier. Landscape panel.
View from outside, front of truck. After having swerved right, the truck swerves left hard, throwing DEUTSCHMASCHINE the opposite way. Multi-image shot of her: swerving with the momentum, propelling herself in the air above the hood, grabbing the side of the passenger door.
SOUND FX (TIRES): SQUEEEK
PANEL 4
One-quarter of page, portrait panel.
Holding on to the side passenger door, DEUTSCHMASCHINE grabs the door handle with purpose. The truck is still speeding merrily along.
DEUTSCHMASCHINE: All right, hotshots, you're coming for a stroll...
PAGE 2
7 panels on 3 tiers. 1st tier is one-fourth the length of the page with 2 panels, 2nd tier is half the length with 2 panels, third tier is the remainder with 3 panels.
PANEL 1
Short portrait panel, maybe with an irregular border to intensify the action it contains.
DEUTSCHMASCHINE turns away from the door as its protective glass explodes. A shotgun blast misses her. Shards of reinforced glass fly about.
SOUND FX: BOOM
DEUTSCHMASCHINE, YELLING: AHH!
PANEL 2
Wide landscape panel, same width as Panel 1, on same tier.
View from inside the truck, behind the driver's seat. The GUARDS in the truck are panicking. The FRONT PASSENGER guard holds a big shotgun, barrel with fumes.
DRIVER GUARD: You MORON! Don't shoot that thing IN the truck!
PASSENGER GUARD: Stop swerving and put on the brakes! I'll take care of this!
PANEL 3
Portrait panel, 2nd tier, about half the page's length. Maybe 1/3 width thin, the action is pretty self-explanatory.
Worm's eye view from the front Passenger tire's level. DEUTSCHMASCHINE is holding on to the side. She is swinging forward, positioning herself under the line of sight of the PASSENGER GUARD and his weapon. Her left hand is on a handle bar; her cyberarm, blade extended, slash and destroys the enormous front passenger tire.
SOUND FX: SLASH
CAPTION 1: Slashing reinforced tires. It's been a WHILE...
PANEL 4
Large, wide panel, takes up the rest of the 2nd tier's width with the same length as Panel 3.
In the foreground, DEUTSCHMASCHINE has jumped off the truck and stays low to the ground, attempting to maintain her balance on the pavement while sliding to an eventual stop, leaving a trail of dust in front of her. Behind her, the truck's wheel rim and axis hit the pavement, creating a huge shower of sparks that bathes and backlights her. The truck has no more balance and teeters. It's important that we do not see the GUARDS clearly in this panel.
CAPTION 1: ...but effective as EVER.
PANEL 5
First panel of 3rd tier. Square panel.
DEUTSCHMASCHINE is still crouching on the pavement, regaining her balance, with fumes emanating from the soles of her boots. The pavement is smoking with the metal having grinded itself against it. She's looking behind her, over her shoulders, looking concerned. The window pane is centered mostly on her head and shoulders.
CAPTION 1: That should keep them and Colonel Winters distracted enough to escape unseen and... and...
PANEL 6
Half the width of the page, same length. Panels 5 and 7 can overlap on this one.
The truck is teetering on its opposite side, really to fall on the side. However, the panel focuses on the GUARDS in the truck, through the side port and front dash: they are standing perfectly rigid, staring blankly forward, like mannequins. They are all identical.
NO TEXT
PANEL 7
Square panel just like Panel 5.
DEUTSCHMASCHINE is in the same position as Panel 5, but we have an extreme close-up of her eyes and brow. She is extremely surprised and concerned (not frowning), eyes wide.
DEUTSCHMASCHINE: WAS ZUR HÖLLE?!?
PAGE 3
3 tiers: the first 2 tiers are of equal lengths (two-fifth), the last one takes up the rest.
PANEL 1
Bleed panel, a bit wider than it is long.
Close-up on WIRETRIP in his datacenter. His shades are on his nose, and several cables dangle from above to the back of his head. He is staring forward at something in a state of pure amazement and excitement.
WIRETRIP: UNBELIEVABLE!!
WIRETRIP: Did y'all see THAT?!
PANEL 2
Wide panel that takes a sizeable portion of the upper tier. It is longer that Panel 1 and takes the remainder of the width.
WIRETRIP is sitting in the far background, staring at a projection on the wall of DEUTSCHMASCHINE's exploits. In the foreground, INVAPOR is bending over his consoles while FOGWATCH, next to him, reclines in his battered chair with a dreamy look. Only a FEMALE HACKER stands behind them, keeping her cool.
INVAPOR: Man, she BUSTED the physics engine's threshold!
FEMALE HACKER: That's impossible. You've shorted something!
INVAPOR: I did NOT. The engine is flawless, ANYTHING a human can do is deconstructed and duplicable.
FEMALE HACKER: Guess we know she's ABOVE human now.
FOGWATCH: I'm in love.
PANEL 3
Wide panel (half-width) on second tier, under Panel 1 but not touching it; it touches Panel 2 instead.
The panel is centered on WIRETRIP's torso, arms and head. He half-turns around in his chair towards his crew. He's got a serious face on, but his excitement shines through his eyes.
WIRETRIP: Keep it together, FOGWATCH. Boost the threshold by twelve percent, but tweak the resolution to avoid transmission lag.
WIRETRIP: INVAPOR, cut the chaos floodgates. We need to contain her options now or we could lose the datamine feed.
FEMALE HACKER (OFF-PANEL): What about the glitch she caused?
WIRETRIP: What GLITCH?
PANEL 4
Half-width of second tier, located under Panel 2.
In the foreground, a female hand points at the projected display in front of WIRETRIP's console desk. WIRETRIP has his head turned from us, looking at the display: it shows two 'screenshots': one of DEUTSCHMASCHINE's eyes (Page 2 Panel 7), another of the impassive GUARDS (Page 2 Panel 6) amidst a sea of numbers and symbols.
FEMALE HACKER (OFF-PANEL): THAT glitch.
WIRETRIP: Oh, sh--!
PANEL 5
Widescreen panel that takes the rest of the lower part of the page. Bleed art can work.
Everyone is thrown into high gear. Paper is thrown around as the four hackers move. WIRETRIP, on the left side of the panel, has his glasses back on his face, concentrates on his own console table and points actively behind him as he barks orders. The HACKERS, on the right side, move on the double.
WIRETRIP: That's a reality seizure! Get to it, people!
WIRETRIP: I want a full recalibration of the psychological simulation algorithm, NOW!
FOGWATCH: Boss-dude, can we overwrite that part?
FEMALE HACKER: Not without a spike in her alpha waves...
WIRETRIP: She's been sleeping for too long, it'd wake her up for sure.
PAGE 4
1st tier: 1 large and one portrait panel. 2nd tier: single wide panel, centered. 2rd tier: 2 equal panels side-by-side.
PANEL 1
Landscape panel, bleed art, to open up a tense scene.
Doors to the datacenter open with a bang. MAIL VEILLANS stands in the doorway. He is a husky black man with half a head of natural dreadlocks. On the other half of his head are braided copper wire. He's dressed in a heavy trenchcoat, a fishnet shirt underneath and leather pants. He's muscular without being bulky, but his face shows his age.
SOUND FX: BAA-AAM
MAIL VEILLANS: What the HELL'S going on here?!
WIRETRIP (OFF-PANEL): MAIL...?!?
MAIL VEILLANS, SHOUTING: Everyone, OUT!
PANEL 2
Portrait panel next to Panel 1.
Back to us, pleading, WIRETRIP is in shadows, a hand up talking to his boss. MAIL VEILLANS is looking right at the off-panel hackers telling them to leave, probably while pointing the doors.
WIRETRIP: No! NO! Not right now, PLEASE, Mail...
MAIL VEILLANS: I'M in charge here, Miles. You 'MEMBER that. LEAVE US, alla you.
PANEL 3
Large landscape panel separating the page in two.
The three HACKERS leave slowly, walking between WIRETRIP and MAIL VEILLANS. The two males keep their eyes down. The female one casts a sidelong gaze at WIRETRIP.
NO TEXT
PANEL 4
One-half width panel at left.
MAIL walks towards WIRETRIP, with his palm open, seemingly talking like an understanding mentor does to a youngster.
MAIL VEILLANS: I done right by you, Miles. Took you in, gave you jobs, training, mojo.
MAIL VEILLANS: I got you your cyberware. Top o' the line. And put you in charge here.
MAIL VEILLANS: Job's simple: MAINTAIN and UPDATE renegade broadcasts.
PANEL 5
One-half width panel at right.
MAIL yells at WIRETRIP in a fury, who shrinks back. WIRETRIP maintains a good front nonetheless.
MAIL VEILLANS, YELLING: So WHY are you ENDANGERING my operation with your GAMES?!
WIRETRIP: This ain't no GAME, Mail. I've found one! I've found a SHADOW OPS!
MAIL VEILLANS, YELLING: THAT'S the game I'm referring to, fool!
PAGE 5
4-panel page: 3 panels are on one tier (1 tall and two wide on top of another), with the 4th one taking up the remaining space at bottom.
PANEL 1
Tall and thin panel, maybe 2/5th width by three-quarters long. Must feel a bit claustrophobic without being too tight.
MAIL sits down in a nearby chair, apparently exhausted. WIRETRIP is still standing, unsure of what to do.
MAIL VEILLANS: Geez, man. Head's spinning here. Gimme a minute.
MAIL VEILLANS: It ain't safe what you're doin', Miles. You're putting everyone at risk. Let it go: THEY DON'T EXIST.
PANEL 2
This panel is half the length of Panel 1, and the remainder of the width of the page. It is standing on top of the identically-sized panel 3.
Upward shot of WIRETRIP from behind MAIL's head. WIRETRIP swings his arm wide behind him in a revealing gesture, showing the projected screen/display behind. We don't see it, however. We do have a good look at the cables that run along the ceiling of the datacenter though.
WIRETRIP: They DO exist! I got one right here. I managed to datamine it out of her!
MAIL VEILLANS: You're gonna get killed over this, man. BOTH of us...
WIRETRIP: Perfectly SAFE, bro. It's a custom reactive simulation script I IMPLANTED in her.
PANEL 3
Same as panel 2, sitting below it. It goes no farther down than Panel 1's height.
WIRETRIP is in the motion of sitting in a chair next to MAIL, at a safe distance. MAIL is crumpled but has his head straight, staring at his pupil.
WIRETRIP: We can tweak certain PROBABILITIES here and there, but ultimately, SHE'S in control, THAT'S THE BEAUTY!
WIRETRIP: Her subconscious brings up her own scenario and we adapt to it. She can't tell the difference.
MAIL VEILLANS: Oh, that a fact, Mr. Puppeteer?
PANEL 4
Remainder of the page at bottom. The panel should be centered horizontally, but not take the full width, maybe only three-quarters will do.
We see the action from behind, same level. MAIL, on the left, is still crumpled in the chair and points at the display projection, his elbow resting on his knee. WIRETRIP, sitting at right, looks too. In the middle, we see the active simulation: a close bird's eye view of DEUTSCHMASCHINE chatting with a near-transparent WIRETRIP.
MAIL VEILLANS: Guess you got a wraith blooming out of your code in there. Wanna tell me how safe THAT looks?
WIRETRIP: !!
PAGE 6
4 identical layered widescreen panels
PANEL 1
Widescreen panel, 1/4 the length of the page.
Downright view on a simple, elegant control console. A projected screen of DEUTSCHMASCHINE chatting with the hologram-like WIRETRIP holds center stage.
CONNELL (OFF-PANEL): Sorry, friend...
PANEL 2
Widescreen panel, 1/4 the length of the page.
Extreme close-up on a rectangular button on the console. This is a pressure-sensitive button, not a physical one. Imagine a display under glass, not something to be depressed. The button says 'TERMINATE PROGRAM'.
CONNELL (OFF-PANEL): ...you've done your PART.
PANEL 3
Widescreen panel, 1/4 the length of the page.
Close, side shot of a man's finger pressing the button.
SOUND FX: click
PANEL 4
Widescreen panel, 1/4 the length of the page.
Upward shot from the panel. The hand pressing the button is in the immediate foreground. Behind it in our line of sight is CONNELL. He is looking down at where the small projection used to be. He's pretty emotionless.
CONNELL: Playtime is over.
PAGE 7
4-tiered page: 2 panels at top, 1 wide underneath, followed by 2 identical panels, 1 wide to finish last tier.
PANEL 1
Portrait panel at left.
GABRIELE wakes up in her seat, still in the place. Her VR helmet is still on. She seems much disoriented in her seat.
GABRIELE, STARTLED: AHH!
SOUND FX, HELMET BANGING ON WALL: CLANK
PANEL 2
Wider panel aligned at right.
Pretty much the same shot as Panel 1. GABRIELE has taken off the helmet and looks around her in disbelief.
GABRIELE: VAS... This can't be!
GABRIELE, YELLING: NO!
PANEL 3
Thin widescreen panel, 2nd tier.
Shot from behind, floor level of the plane. GABRIELE has dropped the helmet and she is running towards the cockpit.
SOUND FX, HELMET FALLING TO THE FLOOR: CLONK
PANEL 4
Half page width, aligned at left, landscape panel.
GABRIELE erupts in the cockpit, but stays in the doorway. She looks concerned, but LORIE and her co-pilot seem unfazed.
GABRIELE: Ms. Heinen, where are we' How LONG as it been?!
LORIE: Oh, hum... It's been a little more than FOUR HOURS, Ma'am. I understand you've been busy back there?
LORIE: We should begin our final approach soon. I was just about to...
PANEL 5
Half page width, aligned at right, landscape panel.
GABRIELE storms off in a fury, smashing her gloved fist on the doorway. LORIE is surprised at the expression and recoils a tiny bit.
GABRIELE, YELLING: SCHWEINEHUND!
PANEL 6
Panel is half the width of the page, sitting alone at the bottom of the page, centered. Surrounded by black.
Long shot of LORIE peeking into the doorway down the 'corridor'. Her head should be the only thing poking into our view down this corridor.
LORIE: ...pardon, Ma'am?
(end of Issue #2, Act I)
