D€V0!D
Writer - Scribbler
Loving This: Transformers Animated. Bumblebee kicks ass.
Hating This: Starscream. Someone just scrap him already.
YOUR NEWSFEED
My Followers
Identity
Alter Ego |
Writer |
Specialty |
Creating alternate universes inside my head. |
City |
Wellingtron |
Country |
New Zealand |
Gender |
Male |
Credentials
Day Job |
Music Student |
Education |
Some post secondary |
My Site |
|
Hidden Talents |
Sing, play guitar, and i can origami you a mean crane. |
D€V0!D's Notes
Viewing 1-3 of 3 posts
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Tenzil Kem August 12th 2008 7:02pm
Hey, nice update. I really like what you are doing with your pitch and would encourage you to add some script pages. My only criticism is the same as last time. Your synopsis section, while excellent, is too long. This is supposed to be just a few paragraphs at most with the rest in the world section, but it's entirely up to you. Great story idea!
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Tenzil Kem August 3rd 2008 7:33pm
One small typo in the last sentence of your new improved synopsis. I really like the way you have it laid out now. Now you need to slowly update your pitch, keeping it on the first page, and let the community know you are still around by either blogging, responding to blogs or both! 10zil out!
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Tenzil Kem August 1st 2008 2:35am
Hey, welcome to Z2H! I enjoyed your pitch but have a couple of suggestions. First, I would put most of what you have in your idea section into the world section (it is very well done, btw). In the idea section I would suggest a brief summary of the story premise. I did not like the word discharge when Zeke is let go - maybe just say the charges were stayed. Also, given his biblical roots, what about Daniel for his middle name? Just a thought. I'm looking forward to seeing more, okay?
