Zeros 2 Heroes - The People's Publisher

Alright... assuming there are no other "hidden" pages out there... after a long, long wait... and after a final false start... finally I have delivered my MOFF entry.  I know it is busy, but that is life.  Enjoy.

Once again the ill fated MOFF was brought temporarily back to life by Juiceboy, only to once more fall by the wayside due to technical difficulties.  Apologies, JB, for not making sure you had all the pages available.  My bad.
For those of you who don't know what a MOFF even is, and for those of you who have likely forgotten, MOFF is an attempt to write a 22 page comic using 22 different writers.  And the story is based (very loosely) on the premise in my Minus One comic that every time the characters use their powers they wind up closer to death.
If you would like to check out the entire comic you can look up my MOFF story pitch which is nearly up to date and will be soon.  For the rest of you, here is a summary of what has happened so far:

1. Tenzil Kem: You were introduced to an unnamed king of the Verdant Kingdom up on a hill and the boot-licking Toady who dogged his footsteps.  The Toady assures the King that the six now powered beings he is about to meet will assure victory over the Indigo Kingdom of the valley.
2. panicman123: You were introduced to three of the six - the haughty Lady Mylestra, the strong and cunning Everent, and the former prisoner Sir Davion who wields the blue fire.
3. TK Jr.: You met three powered beings from the Indigonians - Tumax, the speedster, Honson, who turns invisible, and Gustav, who has enhanced senses.  Queen Sharra orders them to lead the attack to reclaim their stolen four foot high emerald.
4. Lord Maim: Sir Davion is crawling before his real master, Ikaros, who is revealed to be a red skinned alien who gave the twelve their powers.  He has the four foot blue sapphire and has commanded Davion to bring him the emerald.  He tells Davion that his reward will be to rule over the Verdants.  He is the one who nearly took out Davion's eye previously.
5. jmcleod: Names King Killian of the Verdants.  He and Toady watch in the emerald as Tumax smashes their line with his speed.  Davion fires at Honson who is intangible.  The fire spreads to Davion's own troops, infuriating the king.  The other three verdant heroes are named: Rhian, Aoife, and Elon.
6. Lazerman: Rhian is a stern man, Aoife is confident of their power, Everent and Elon slam their fists to the ground and cause a quake.  Lady Mylestra notices an object above them in the sky.
7. Sorshania: Ikaros gazes into Rubis mirror and sees Honson notice the sky object.  Tumax threatens Aoife who laughs and tells him he hasn't changed in five years.
8. RPulfer: Gustav jumps right into a castle tower and King Killian sends Toady to investigate.  They talk and both notice what Sir Davion is doing.  Gustav grabs Toady and jumps out of castle.
9. Crackwalker: Sir Davion and Honson talk to each other.  Davion says Verdant troops not his yet.  Offers Honson Kingdom of Indigo if he will turn intangible and go get emerald for Davion.  Honson agrees to get emerald, for himself!
10. WillGibson: Toady talks to Gustav wondering how Indigoan has power.  Gustav coughs up green blood and Toady wonders if he is gifted . . .  or cursed!
11. Fetternity: A doctor and two parents are worried about a young boy in hospital named Francis, who has emerald eyes.  There are 78 children suffering fevers, dreams, hallucinations, ranting and so on.  The doctor suggests prayers.
12. N3k0+b0i: Gustav saves Toady from a volley of arrows.  His eyes go all Catboy, and he throws a knife when they approach.
13. Tyler David Coltraine: Mylestra suspends the knife in air.  Her first name is Coperica and she has regal bearing, magical powers and a cruel streak.  She orders her men to kill Gustav brutally.
14. Autolycan: A boy in the hospital with a sapphire eye is living the attack on Gustav, bleeding when Gustav is cut, and dying when Gustav is killed.  Tumax tries in vain to save his friend.  A boy named Adam is laughing and has red eyes.
15. Atomic Skull: Tumax tries to comfort his fallen friend Gustav, then kills a row of Verdant soldiers with the same knife while Davion watches and smiles.  King Killian is watching this in the emerald with a posture of defeat as Honson emerges through the floor.
16. Ivy Crow: King Killian senses Honson's arrival, though he can't find him.  Honson grabs the emerald and they wrestle for it, eventually striking it on the wall and shattering off the tip only.  One kid in the hospital sits up and gasps.

And that is the story so far.  To the writers of those pages I apologize that these brief summaries do not do your writing justice.  To read the full pages you can go to the property page of Minus One and find them all there (link anyone?).

The rest of the book will be penned by:

Page 17 - Juiceboy
Page 18 - MightyGeko
Page 19 - mariathedreamer
Page 20 - Mekikas
Page 21 - Steven Menszer
Page 22 - Asclepius

Hi everyone!

I'm baaaaaaack and here is my contribution to MOFF.  Let me know what you think! :)

MOFF - page 16:

Six panels: the top third of the page is a single widescreen panel; the middle third is divided into three panels; and the bottom third is divided into a small square panel at the left and a wider rectangular panel at the right.

 

Panel one:  King Killian is standing, still clutching his emerald while Honson is standing behind King Killian, taking a step toward him.  Honson is half-faded so that we can see where he is in the image, yet know he is still invisible.  He has a surprised expression on his face.  

 

                                   KING KILLIAN

            Did you really think I wouldn?t sense your presence?

 

Panel two:  King Killian is looking behind him in the direction where Honson was standing in the previous panel.  However, Honson is now standing on the opposite side of King Killian, getting closer to the emerald.

 

                                   KING KILLIAN

            No need to hide, I know you?re here.

 

Panel three:  Close up of Honson?s half-faded hand grabing the emerald from King Killian.

 

Panel four:  Honson (still half-faded) and King Killian are both depicted falling back in mid-air.  Honson is holding the emerald away from his body as King Killian springs in the direction of the stone, trying to grab it.  The emerald is dangerously close to hitting the stone wall.

 

Panel five: Close up of the half-faded hand holding the emerald as the tip hits the stone wall and shatters.  Only the tip is shattered and the rest of the stone is whole.

 

                                   KING KILLIAN (OP)

            Nooooooo!!!

 

Panel six: Perspective view showing the row of hospital beds extending to infinity.  All the kids are laying down except for one who is sitting in his bed.  He is drawn with motion lines to emphasize the idea that he just suddenly sat up. 

 

                                   SOUND F/X (from the kid)

            Gasp!

I've been waiting for the perfect occasion to write my 200th blog on this site, and I found it this morning.  I was waiting to write this site's 5,000th blog, something I may still try to do, but it was taking a bit too long to get there, and at any rate this opportunity came up and I could not resist.
One year ago today, March 9, 2008 my story Minus One started to  glow golden.  Those of you who were around for CCCN or any of the other contests around here know what that means.  My story had been chosen by the community to be made into a comic (if you haven't read it yet, nor become a fan this is your perfect opportunity to do so!).  Needless to say, this was a dream come true, a culmination of the hopes and hard work of a lifetime.  To see something you created come to life in that way is just amazing, and I wish that all of you can feel it some day too.
So how has my life changed since that day?  I'm glad you asked!  Money!  Women!  Fame!
Money? Well, I am still employed, and I do still receive cheques for my articles and cover photos for the magazine I am writing for.
Women? Yes, I'm still happily married, thank-you.
Fame? My son asked for my autograph once, so that was pretty cool.
So where to from here?  I have a plan and I hope that many of you will join in on it with me.  What is that plan?  No, my friends, now is not the time for the great reveal.  Look for that in the days and weeks ahead.
I'd like to acknowledge at this time zeros2heroes, and the squirrels.  I would like to thank them for the awesome opportunity!  Hopefully this is just the beginning!  And thanks for all the magnets too!
I'd like to recognize all the CCCN winners, especially those who have stayed active on this site (genrewriter and Crackwalker being the most visible of these) including Lord Maim, who deservedly went on to win the Greenberg Foundation prize.  All the talented artists deserve another round of applause too.
I really enjoyed having all the gamers here on the site last summer.  Hopefully we can find some way to bring them back as well.
Congrats also to the APTN winners, Beth A Dillon and Big Dawg 007 along with the D2D winners, RichardPulfer and MightyGeko.
During the past year this site has become far richer thanks to the many newcomers who have gotten involved, and some of the "golden oldies" who continue to work away here.  I run the risk of missing some, and apologize in advance for that, but these people should definitely be mentioned:
Morgan J, Titan.inc, Asclepius, J-Mick, AutoLycan, The STURSTEINS, Ps Elliott, Atomic Skull, BD Stevens, Mr. Man, Juiceboy, Steven Menszer, ChrisJones, Trina,Panicman123, Cancerbaby, Eysic Ach.
Remind me who I have missed and I will edit them in later so it looks like I was really thorough!
And don't forget to check out the Minus One comic or the Unbreakable pitch if you get the chance (with thanks to those who have already done so).

Thank-you all for making this place such a great place to be.

PS: If anyone can help with the links????

This is my contribution to MOFF. I had a surprise root canal today, so I am not feeling too chatty :0)!

I will be interested to hear what folks have to say about an artist writing a page without dialogue, though.

Back soon.

Page 15

 7 Panels: three panels along the top, a page wide panel in the middle, and three panels along the bottom.

 Panel 1 is tinted the same red as the eye as Adam?s eyes. SCU of Ikaros? matte black eye with a slit pupil.

 Panel 2 is a med CU of Gustav?s knife (recognizable from the previous exchange with Mylestra) deep in his own ribs.

 Panel 3 is a med shot of Tumax drawing the knife, cradling his friend, his face contorted with rage.

 Panel 4 is a long shot. Tumax is is the FG on the left hand side, Gustav?s knife is his hand. Leading from left to right is a row of Verdant soldiers falling in succession, the furthest right almost hitting the ground. They are all blood is gouting from their throats.

 Panel 5 is a med CU of Lord Davion, smiling smugly.He looks somewhat battle weary and is covered in gore.

 Panel 6 is a med long shot of King Killian slumped in front of the emerald from behind. His posture is one of defeat.

 Panel 7 is closer in over Killian?s shoulder. We can see Honson emerging from the floor.

 

A big shout out to the Atomic Skull, who has bravely entered the lion's den known as MOFF!  A brief summary of the story so far along with the author credited for each page:

1. Tenzil Kem: You were introduced to an unnamed king of the Verdant Kingdom up on a hill and the boot-licking Toady who dogged his footsteps.  The Toady assures the King that the six now powered beings he is about to meet will assure victory over the Indigo Kingdom of the valley.
2. panicman123: You were introduced to three of the six - the haughty Lady Mylestra, the strong and cunning Everent, and the former prisoner Sir Davion who wields the blue fire.
3. TK Jr.: You met three powered beings from the Indigonians - Tumax, the speedster, Honson, who turns invisible, and Gustav, who has enhanced senses.  Queen Sharra orders them to lead the attack to reclaim their stolen four foot high emerald.
4. Lord Maim: Sir Davion is crawling before his real master, Ikaros, who is revealed to be a red skinned alien who gave the twelve their powers.  He has the four foot blue sapphire and has commanded Davion to bring him the emerald.  He tells Davion that his reward will be to rule over the Verdants.  He is the one who nearly took out Davion's eye previously.
5. jmcleod: Names King Killian of the Verdants.  He and Toady watch in the emerald as Tumax smashes their line with his speed.  Davion fires at Honson who is intangible.  The fire spreads to Davion's own troops, infuriating the king.  The other three verdant heroes are named: Rhian, Aoife, and Elon.
6. Lazerman: Rhian is a stern man, Aoife is confident of their power, Everent and Elon slam their fists to the ground and cause a quake.  Lady Mylestra notices an object above them in the sky.
7. Sorshania: Ikaros gazes into Rubis mirror and sees Honson notice the sky object.  Tumax threatens Aoife who laughs and tells him he hasn't changed in five years.
8. RPulfer: Gustav jumps right into a castle tower and King Killian sends Toady to investigate.  They talk and both notice what Sir Davion is doing.  Gustav grabs Toady and jumps out of castle.
9. Crackwalker: Sir Davion and Honson talk to each other.  Davion says Verdant troops not his yet.  Offers Honson Kingdom of Indigo if he will turn intangible and go get emerald for Davion.  Honson agrees to get emerald, for himself!
10. WillGibson: Toady talks to Gustav wondering how Indigoan has power.  Gustav coughs up green blood and Toady wonders if he is gifted . . .  or cursed!
11. Fetternity: A doctor and two parents are worried about a young boy in hospital named Francis, who has emerald eyes.  There are 78 children suffering fevers, dreams, hallucinations, ranting and so on.  The doctor suggests prayers.
12. N3k0+b0i: Gustav saves Toady from a volley of arrows.  His eyes go all Catboy, and he throws a knife when they approach.
13. Tyler David Coltraine: Mylestra suspends the knife in air.  Her first name is Coperica and she has regal bearing, magical powers and a cruel streak.  She orders her men to kill Gustav brutally.
14. Autolycan: A boy in the hospital with a sapphire eye is living the attack on Gustav, bleeding when Gustav is cut, and dying when Gustav is killed.  Tumax tries in vain to save his friend.  A boy named Adam is laughing and has red eyes.

And that is the story so far.  To the writers of those pages I apologize that these brief summaries do not do your writing justice.  To read the full pages you can go to the property page of Minus One and find them all there (link anyone?).


The rest of the book will be penned by:
Page 15 - Atomic Skull
Page 16 - Ivy Crow
Page 17 - Juiceboy
Page 18 - MightyGeko
Page 19 - mariathedreamer
Page 20 - Mekikas
Page 21 - Steven Menszer
Page 22 - Asclepius

Let's get this party (re)started: it's going to be EPIC!!!

Okay, gang, you've all read his blog.  Eysic Ach has had to bow out of the Minus One Fan Fiction project (MOFF).  That is the bad news.  The good news is that Page 15 has now opened up to an aspiring writer.  I am looking for a writer who is not already committed to the project.  While I am grateful to Lord Maim for stepping up and offering his services, and I am confident many of the rest of you would do the same, the whole idea of the project is 22 different authors.  So how about it?  Who wants page 15?  Respond here: first come, first served!

So here's the deal, community: I really need your help with this one.  Back in December, when we were all getting excited about the prospects of D2D2, I screwed up and neglected to let poor Eysic know about the page for Minus One Fan Fiction (MOFF) that Autolycan had already done.  Eysic did his page, but because he didn't know about Auto's his page didn't work.  I apologized, Eysic withdrew the blog, promised to re do his page, and vanished off the face of the earth.  I know because I have looked.
It has been forty days since I posted my blog about this.  I have sent Eysic messages, telegrams and smoke signals.  I have sent him a PM.  I have consulted the oracle, gone to a Tarot Card reader (no help with Eysic, but apparently I am going to have five more children and a tattoo in the shape of Klaatu on my shoulder), and tried telepathy.  Bupkus.
So what do we do, good people?
I really want Eysic to write his page.
I also really want to get on with this project.  By now most of you have forgotten all about it, and I can hardly blame you.  Juiceboy, Geko, Asclepius, Mekikas and others are waiting to write their pages.
So does someone have the super secret hotline to Eysic's Bat Cave?  Should we all storm his page until he can't ignore us?  Should we give up and put the page up for grabs?  How about skip his page for now, write the next one after, then make his fit in the middle later?  None of the above?
What do you think good people?
Ey'm all ears!

Yes, MOFF is still going on, even if it lurching along slowly these days.  Yes, I am still MUPping it up, releasing one new pitch every week.  Yes, I am presiding over the UT4 (still time to sign up, don't you know?  All the cool kids are doing it!).  But that is not enough.  Here in Vancouver we have had about three years worth of snow in the past three weeks, and I know most of the rest of North America has seen plenty as well.  It is time then to announce, The MOFA (Minus One Fan Art - Snowman edition).  If you don't have snow in your region, please feel free to substitute something else that is pliable.  To give you an idea about what I am talking about, TK Jr. and I took advantage of his school not being open today to create the following for your enjoyment!
First up, I present the "snow" sand monster for your viewing pleasure!


Next, take a look at the sand monster posing with its "creator".  No, not Michael Blomqvist.  That's Tenzil Kem and the cool guy on the right arm is TK Jr.


Third, a shot of the sand monster tossing around a few cars.


Fourth, a group of super heroes try to tame the Beast!


Finally, if a snowy sand monster was actually crazy enough to come to Canada what do you suppose would happen to him?
Right!


No big prizes for this MOFA, just maybe some fan art, but hopefully some of you will think this is a fun idea and will give it a try!  If you do, don't forget to put Minus One (Property) as one of your tags!

Several weeks back 21 brave creators set out with me to write one great story, one page to each writer.  So far we have 14 pages done with eight still to come.  Plenty of water has passed under the bridge, and likely many of you don't even know what MOFF is (Minus One Fan Fiction), while the rest of you can't really remember where the story is.
I'm here to catch you all up and remind the writers ahead of their pending pages!
1. Tenzil Kem: You were introduced to an unnamed king of the Verdant Kingdom up on a hill and the boot-licking Toady who dogged his footsteps.  The Toady assures the King that the six now powered beings he is about to meet will assure victory over the Indigo Kingdom of the valley.
2. panicman123: You were introduced to three of the six - the haughty Lady Mylestra, the strong and cunning Everent, and the former prisoner Sir Davion who wields the blue fire.
3. TK Jr.: You met three powered beings from the Indigonians - Tumax, the speedster, Honson, who turns invisible, and Gustav, who has enhanced senses.  Queen Sharra orders them to lead the attack to reclaim their stolen four foot high emerald.
4. Lord Maim: Sir Davion is crawling before his real master, Ikaros, who is revealed to be a red skinned alien who gave the twelve their powers.  He has the four foot blue sapphire and has commanded Davion to bring him the emerald.  He tells Davion that his reward will be to rule over the Verdants.  He is the one who nearly took out Davion's eye previously.
5. jmcleod: Names King Killian of the Verdants.  He and Toady watch in the emerald as Tumax smashes their line with his speed.  Davion fires at Honson who is intangible.  The fire spreads to Davion's own troops, infuriating the king.  The other three verdant heroes are named: Rhian, Aoife, and Elon.
6. Lazerman: Rhian is a stern man, Aoife is confident of their power, Everent and Elon slam their fists to the ground and cause a quake.  Lady Mylestra notices an object above them in the sky.
7. Sorshania: Ikaros gazes into Rubis mirror and sees Honson notice the sky object.  Tumax threatens Aoife who laughs and tells him he hasn't changed in five years.
8. RPulfer: Gustav jumps right into a castle tower and King Killian sends Toady to investigate.  They talk and both notice what Sir Davion is doing.  Gustav grabs Toady and jumps out of castle.
9. Crackwalker: Sir Davion and Honson talk to each other.  Davion says Verdant troops not his yet.  Offers Honson Kingdom of Indigo if he will turn intangible and go get emerald for Davion.  Honson agrees to get emerald, for himself!
10. WillGibson: Toady talks to Gustav wondering how Indigoan has power.  Gustav coughs up green blood and Toady wonders if he is gifted . . .  or cursed!
11. Fetternity: A doctor and two parents are worried about a young boy in hospital named Francis, who has emerald eyes.  There are 78 children suffering fevers, dreams, hallucinations, ranting and so on.  The doctor suggests prayers.
12. N3k0+b0i: Gustav saves Toady from a volley of arrows.  His eyes go all Catboy, and he throws a knife when they approach.
13. Tyler David Coltraine: Mylestra suspends the knife in air.  Her first name is Coperica and she has regal bearing, magical powers and a cruel streak.  She orders her men to kill Gustav brutally.
14. Autolycan: A boy in the hospital with a sapphire eye is living the attack on Gustav, bleeding when Gustav is cut, and dying when Gustav is killed.  Tumax tries in vain to save his friend.  A boy named Adam is laughing and has red eyes.

And that is the story so far.  To the writers of those pages I apologize that these brief summaries do not do your writing justice.  To read the full pages you can go to the property page of Minus One and find them all there (link anyone?).

The following writers are warming up for their big moments:
Page 15: Eysic Ach
Page 16: Ivy Crow
Page 17: Juiceboy
Page 18: MightyGeko
Page 19: mariathedreamer
Page 20: Mekikas
Page 21: Steven Menszer
Page 22: Asclepius

So as you can see the story is in great hands ahead.  I hope you will all stick around to see how it turns out!

And we haven't even started on the fan art for the book yet!!!

nice comic...

Well I thought long and hard (heh) about how to continue this fan fiction. It's four a.m. so forgive the quality of it. Hope you, my friends, enjoy it. It was fun writing this in a sleep-worshipping haze. And vote for Fox Goddess.

(Panel 1: The knife stops in midair, surrounded by rings of green energy.)

? (Off-Panel)
Is this the very best you have to offer me?  A paltry gesture...

(Panel 2: Lady Mylestra stands to the side of the archers, hand in the air with fingers twisted in an odd gesture.  Camera is to her left, looking on from her side, showing waist-up.  Her expression is pure, unbridled contempt and derision.)

LADY M
I would say I expected more from the Indigonians, but I do so hate to lie, even to the rabble.  Nevertheless, I am both unsurprised and entirely unsatisfied.

(Panel 3: Lady M walks along the front of the archers; her posture is excessively regal, spine arched and shoulders pushed back.  Gustav is on the ground in the foreground, down on one knee, back facing the camera.)

GUSTAV
Who...who are you?

LADY M
Oh, now I am truly insulted!  Whelp, I am Lady Coperica Mylestra, the finest magical power known to man and time.  My very breath demands the respect of nature itself, and my footsteps bring kingdoms to their knees in terror.  To not sing my praises is to invite death.

(Panel 4: Lady M stops at the knife, still suspended in midair, toying with it but not freeing it.)

LADY M
But then, refuse such as yourself...you are unworthy to even think my name, let alone know my face.

(Panel 5: Gustav looks up, standing in a sort of improvised combat position; he is entirely unarmed, holding only his fists.  Toady cowers behind him, looking for an easy escape.)

GUSTAV
You talk too much.  I feel the evil...it pours from you.  You reek of it, and it will be your undoing.

LADY M (offpanel)
My, my, my...impudent to the end, are we?  No matter.

(Panel 6: close-up of Lady M's face, twisted and contorted into a mask of sociopathic glee, the kind of expression one would see on a murder who's reveling in the glory of mutilating someone...or getting ready to, at least.)

LADY M
Men, you've my permission to slay this...person...however you wish.  I only ask that you make it slow.

And brutal.

Indigionian, your cries of torture will be music to my ears...perform for me!

(I don't know where that all came from, but it was fun...)

Page 12, Six Panels

Panel One
Close up on Gustav's eyes as he looks Over His Shoulder in shock

Panel Two
Wide Shot. Gustav Lunges at Toady, trying to Pin him to the ground. Many Arrows can be seen above them, missing them by inches.

GUSTAV
GET DOWN!

Panel Three
Show a group of (4, maybe 5) Archers riding towards them on black horses.

Panel Four
Gustav looks up towards the Arches as he keeps Taody low to the ground, protecting him. His right arm is extedned out with his knife in his hand.

Panel Five
Close up on Gustav's eyes as his pupils turn to slits (that was for you T.K.!)

Panel Six
Wide Shot. Zoom out as Gustav throws the knife.

(let's up the stakes -CM)

PAGE 11

6 panels: 3 rectangular panels lined up on the top tier, with two widescreen panels underneath, finished with a last wide panel (2/3 width of page, ¼ the length of the page), centered, framed by black.

PANEL 1

Extreme close-up of a child's face lying in a bed. A breathing apparatus is over the child's mouth and nose. His eyes are open with difficulty and he has no pupils; instead, the whole cornea is of a translucent emerald-like color.

 CHILD, whimpering: ...c... cur... curssssed...!

 DOCTOR, off-panel: It's getting worse.

 

PANEL 2

View of a hospital bed and equipment, ground level. A DOCTOR, a MOTHER and a FATHER stand over their CHILD, hooked up to several IV drops, a respirator and more. It's daytime. There's a curtain behind them, sheltering them from other potential patients.

  MOTHER: I don't understand, Doctor...

  FATHER: Just WHAT is getting worse? What's wrong with our Francis?

 DOCTOR: It's not just Francis.

 

PANEL 3

The DOCTOR is grabbing the curtain, pulling it back on the rod. The parents are in the foreground, watching him do so.

  DOCTOR: Psychotropic delusions, ranting, fevered dreams, outlandish tales, worsening physical health... This is unlike anything I ever encountered before.

 DOCTOR: Francis is LIVING a dream, along with...

 

PANEL 4

 Widescreen. The DOCTOR has pulled back the curtain. Over his shoulder we see an entire hospital hall lined up with beds; maybe close to a hundred. All those beds we can see clearly contain a single child, hooked up to the same equipment.

 DOCTOR: ...ALL SEVENTY-EIGHT OF THEM! And, as astonishing as it sounds, they all mutter the same story.

 DOCTOR: Emeralds, indigo, curses, powers, strange names, knights fighting, and the fate of an entire world in their hands.

 FATHER, off-panel: But, what have you found out?

 

 PANEL 5

 Widescreen. Imagine a camera looking straight down at the children in their hospital beds, with an angle. They all have either indigo or green corneas. All their eyes are open or half-open.

 DOCTOR, off-panel: It's obvious to me that these children have some kind of sympathetic link to someone... or something, locking them in their current state.

 DOCTOR, off-panel: I think their state worsens as the heroic tale they experience takes a turn for the worst. They say in any war, the first to suffer are the children.

 MOTHER, off-panel: What can we do to help them?

 

 PANEL 6

 The DOCTOR, along with the PARENTS, is in the distance amongst the beds, looking back over their shoulder to FRANCIS, still comatose in his hospital bed.

 DOCTOR: Pray.

 DOCTOR: If their condition is to improve, pray those heroes can curb the bloodshed.

 DOCTOR: Pray they give in to the better angels of their nature.